Joe Bob Briggs

If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it 'romance and adventure.'

Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.

Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.

Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.

The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.

Faith is like a kernel of wheat.

There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.