John Barrymore

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.