Josh Billings

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.