Ogden Nash

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.