Richard Belzer

I've been cast as myself so many times, I guess I should catch on and figure out if it's a compliment.

The number one job for me is to make people laugh. If I can also make people think, then that's a cool thing.

Cancer is a cosmic slap in the face. You either get discouraged or ennobled by it.

You remember France, it's the country that financed the American Revolution... OK, it was in their self-interest, but still, they made it happen. Let's face it: without the French, there would be no America... in other words, without them, there is no us.

Arguably, the first five years of 'Saturday Night Live' were some of the most radical things ever seen on television. When NBC said, 'Okay, you can do a show from 11:30 to 1 on Saturday night,' they didn't think anyone would watch. It was like giving a piece of the candy store to the kids.

When I was a kid in the '50s, I was very enamored of beatniks and... a kind of dark sensibility.

SNL' came out in the '70s. It's a different zeitgeist. It's hard to re-create it, just as it would be hard to do a black-and-white noir film now. The culture's different.

I was taught the truth will set you free... unless, of course, you want the truth about who killed JFK.

As a result of being on 'SVU' and 'Homicide' all these years, there's a lot of people who don't know I used to do stand-up. When they see me onstage, it's a surprise, and it's revelatory. I'm happy because I can do my old material, so everybody wins.

I was thrown out of every school I ever went to.

If any animal is capable of unconditional love, it is surely the canine: they are forgiving, caring, life-affirming creatures who humble us and teach us to be more human and compassionate.

Most people cherish their very existence and try their best to live a life worth living. In spite of the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our way, we somehow hope against hope and find a way to be as life-affirming as humanly possible! How? Love!