Tig Notaro

Basically I'm a female human being with brown hair, enjoy precision, reading the news, eating delicious food with my delicious friends and laughing at ridiculous things that don't translate while you are desperately trying to make them.

Even losing my mother, I wanted my mother. That's who you want instinctually when you're having a hard time.

I can't waste more time worrying unless something surfaces that should legitimately cause fear.

Not 100 percent of the time, but I feel like I'm good at being direct. I know what I want, and I feel like I can tell people, 'I want this; I don't want this. I want you; I don't want you. I hope for this, and this is right, and this is wrong for me.'

It's important that when you do standup, you do small places like coffee shops and also big places like colleges. It helps you find the little nuances in your set that don't work, and you can shave off the excess.

It's almost embarrassing how much support I have. I mean, I always tell people I feel like I'm perfectly set up to have cancer. I have great health insurance, I have a savings account. I have work lined up. I have friends and family. I have the best doctors I can get.