Alan King

Performing is just standing up there and doing something. Performance takes on an edge to it. It has a more dramatic context.

Museums are good things, places to look and absorb and learn.

I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.

Right when I started in show... Milton Berle was my first idol. When I was a kid, I went to see Milton at Lowe's State, and I never laughed so much, and I said, 'That's who I want to be; that's what I want to be.'

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'

My wife is a very attractive woman, and she's always worried about her diet. But she doesn't pay attention to me, and I don't pay attention to her. She's a vegetarian, and it drives me crazy.

I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.

I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our marriage, she broiled lamb chops 26 nights in a row. Then I took over. I used to mind her not caring about food, but no more - as long as I can eat what I want.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.