Finley Peter Dunne

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.