Frank Carson

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.'

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.

The thirties were troublesome in Belfast, and then of course there was no work for people, and it was terribly religiously divided.