Me and my sister made up a game called 'Milky Cow'. We were on holiday in France when I was 12, and there was a kid who had bovine features, and every time we went past her, we'd say, 'There's Milky Cow'.

I would spend a lot of time setting up an accident scene where it appeared that I had seriously hurt myself - hedge-cutter, ketchup, that sort of thing. When my sister happened upon the scene of horror, I would lift my head and pathetically plead for her to 'get Mum'.

If you're doing a job, and you secretly want to do a different job, you start to blame the job. I was blaming the teaching for that fact I wasn't performing. I really felt I needed to follow a comedy career.

There is nothing bad about this job. Comedians have nothing to complain about. That doesn't mean I'm not constantly moaning and worrying.

If we want our children to value education, then we must show our appreciation for knowledge.

Running a school where the students all succeed, even if some students have to help others to make the grade, is good preparation for democracy.

You can acquire a lot of knowledge without ever going to school.

Nothing can teach you what it's like to work on a film set, and the best education there can be for an actor is to walk up the street and observe human nature.