Let us speak, though we show all our faults and weaknesses, - for it is a sign of strength to be weak, to know it, and out with it - not in a set way and ostentatiously, though, but incidentally and without premeditation.

Some dying men are the most tyrannical; and certainly, since they will shortly trouble us so little for evermore, the poor fellows ought to be indulged.

There is no dignity in wickedness, whether in purple or rags; and hell is a democracy of devils, where all are equals.

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.

There's nothing more dramatic than the comedy I've done. Because the comedy I've done is to get to the audience, get them to feel it, or they won't laugh.

I feel like L.A. is more of a showcase, and Chicago is a pure comedy scene where you're doing comedy for comedy. You're doing comedy actually for the audience that's there.

What I love about comedy is that we're this group of weirdos, and the only language that matters is, 'Are you funny?' And it really is this oddly cool American idea where comedy's the marketplace of ideas. May the best idea win.

I want to tell the story. Mostly, when you see rock movies, it has to be this over-the-top thing. I want to give people a Bret Michaels movie where they see that my life is a comedy of errors. I also want to show my fans how to get through the kind of troubles that would leave most people flat on the floor.