I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to learn from.

There is no way I would ever want to be president for a second. It's much easier to make fun of them on the stage and get paid for it. With all the years of me lampooning the presidents in my act, I know I could never ever want that job.

The truth is I'm not at all surprised of the longevity of my career. In fact, I would be surprised if the opposite were true and if my career did not have this longevity because I can't believe people would purposely deprive themselves of such hilarious, meaningful entertainment at these prices.

If I'm a busboy in Philadelphia, then I have to be careful about what I say. But if I'm a public tycoon like Jerry Seinfeld, and I got a billion dollars in my pocket, he's got to be nuts to wonder or worry about what people are going to think.

It's always good to be back in New York, where everything started in my career.

I started acting professionally when I was about 17. I worked immediately, but a year into it, I did an independent film in Canada, and that started it all. It was proof that maybe I could do this as a career.

God helps those who help themselves. You have blessings. You have gifts. You have passion. You have drive. Get after it; go in there and do something. Try and make every day count.

The American people need no course in philosophy or political science of church history to know that God should not be made into a celestial party chairman.