I think comics should test people, I think it's our job to go too far. That way we know as a society what too far is. Where else are you going to hear it?

Bad taste is not illegal. I always got my first laughs as a kid by saying inappropriate things. That's always how we're going to get our laughs as comics.

You don't mess with Oprah. She has enough money in her left pocket to have me killed.

Most people, when they think of an insult, they keep it to themselves. But you wouldn't believe the things people say on my Twitter feed, and I'm a nice guy. Imagine if I was a jerk.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

The whole nature of war is both stupid and fascinating. It's this big game, except people die. Yet we still keep on playing it because of the big power struggles that exist all over the world. It's really amazing to me that people really do that.

Comedy was my sport. It taught me how to roll with the punches. Failure is the exact same as success when it comes to comedy because it just keeps coming. It never stops.

The number one rule of comedy acting is 'don't try to be funny.' Act as seriously as possible.