I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That's why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline.

If everything was good, maybe I wouldn't have a career. I wouldn't have anything to make fun of.

I feel completely fearless when I'm on stage. And also totally fearful. There's the fear that I'm not making a very smart career move sometimes, but there's the stronger belief that these things need to be said.

My goal isn't to wake up in the morning and hurt people's feelings.

I have done all kinds of roles - comedy, action, romance, and thrillers. Just name the genre, and I've done it.

Had I not been in a relationship, I would have no issues falling in love with a midget. I wouldn't mind as long as she loves me and takes care of me and my family.

Someone who'll bring some normalcy into my life and help me stay in touch with reality. That is something I'm curious about. There are so many actors who are married to people from non-film backgrounds, and their marriages are successful. I'm tired of dating actresses.

I could be wrong, but I think heterosexual marriage is threatened more by heterosexuals. I don't know why gay marriage challenges my marriage in any way.