I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!

A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing.

Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works.

What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.

Anyone in the comedy world knows that Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell are two of the funniest guys around.

Is it my fault that there is a stereotype that black people are not good swimmers? I know that's a joke, but somebody will say, 'I can't believe you would say that.' Well, first of all it's just a joke, and second of all if you watch the Olympics, black people win medals in jumping, running. They don't win any in swimming.

Any time you can be with like-minded people, laughing or crying over the same joke or the same scene... For me, it's therapeutic. You just feel a little less alone on the planet.

I think that Canadians have an incredible reverence for authority and regard for authority, and I think one of the healthy ways that it's challenged is through questioning it, through the polite hostility of comedy.