A working detective has no hope of understanding what even experts who devote their lives to the study of criminal psychology can't figure out.

Nobody's reported my victories, my accomplishments, my true personality - the way I treat all people.

Rewards are directly proportional to the suspect and his peers' status in society: $100,000 was offered in the Moxley case. It meant nothing to millionaires.

Johnnie Cochran hasn't spent 20 years serving people in low-income, minority neighborhoods, ridding them of gangs and narcotics. I have. He hasn't been shot at and punched. I have. I've paid my dues to be able to say I'm not a racist.

A placebo is a phony cure that works. This is very hard for the medical profession to get their teeth around because they hate placebos, but scientifically, placebos work in about 30% of cases that are psychogenic diseases.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

I'm used to taking risks - my career was a risk. Being a stand-up comic is not something that's normally accepted when your mother is Filipino.

One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course. This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty-five years, I can probably speak best about my own profession.