If there was an Oppression Olympics, I would win the gold medal. I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled, and I live in New Jersey.

It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up.

I'll go on '60 Minutes,' and whereas other parents would be like, 'You did a great job. I'm so proud of you,' my mother will be like, 'Your hair - it was not nice.'

The United States needs to stop putting Israel's wants above Palestinian rights.

I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.

To me, horror and comedy never work. Never worked for me, anyway.

A lot of people think I'm difficult to work with. It's not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn't really matter. I guess I'm somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy.

In life, there's a ying and a yang and a balance. And when you don't have balance, you have comedy.