I'm a big Knicks fan, and I will tell a professional basketball player that they suck because they didn't do what I wanted them to do.

I feel like most standup comedians do it the way I did it, where you just go to open mics and cut your teeth. Sketch and improv - they take a lot of classes. It's not unusual, the way I did it. It's just that, with standup, no one knows how to start because there's no book for it; there's no place you can really go.

Yes, I believe in equality. But I don't like the word 'feminist,' because it's such a rational belief to think that women are equal to men, and I'm a rational person. You shouldn't be labeled for being reasonable.

When I was little, I used to suck the candy coating off of Advil and spit the white part back in the bottle.

A poet can feel free, in my estimation, to write a poem for himself. Or a painter can paint a painting for himself. You can write a short story for yourself. But for me, comedy by its nature is communal. If other people don't get it, I'm not sure why you are doing it.

I am proud to stand with the millions of women and men who recognize that our government should legislate according to the reality of our lives - not for ideology.

Despite the increase in world attention toward Sudan in the past months, the genocide in Darfur has continued without any serious attempt by the Sudanese government to do what governments primarily exist to do, protect their citizens.

I am in the fighting game. I don't care about anything else. I don't watch the news, I don't care about politics, I don't care about other sports. I don't care about anything I don't need to care about. This is my sport: it is my life. I study it; I think about it all the time. Nothing else matters.