It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.

I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special.

Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.

I don't think everyone should vote. If you have to be dragged into the polls, carried into the polls and smelling salts have to be used, you probably shouldn't be voting. However, we shouldn't be putting up barriers to voting that target certain groups.

I feel I have experienced pretty much everything I can in football, winning, losing, the injury side and all the set-backs.

What I did at the start of each season, regardless if I was coming back as the champion, was run indoors and take forward steps from the first race.

I'm in the public eye. I'm a celebrity and a football player.

Football is my priority. It's a short career, and you have to make the most of it, which is why making the World Cup squad is such a big deal and something I will never take for granted.