That old man dies prematurely whose memory records no benefits conferred. They only have lived long who have lived virtuously.

There is nothing on earth so easy as to forget, if a person chooses to set about it. I'm sure I have as much forgot your poor, dear uncle, as if he had never existed; and I thought it my duty to do so.

A bumper of good liquor will end a contest quicker than justice, judge, or vicar.

Do thou snatch treasures from my lips, and I'll take kingdoms back from thine.

The average married man lives two thousand and five days longer than his single counterpart, albeit with less reason.

I love being a troubadour. I travel around the world with my wife and play little theaters. We have a ball.

Our black president can't say that he's for gay marriage. That is upsetting to me.

If I did not have my wife, I wouldn't be married, I wouldn't have the life that I have and I wouldn't have my wonderful baby boy who's not a baby anymore - he's going to be eight-years-old.