Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

In real life, I wish I could do a Scourgify. That would just be incredible helpful, when I know the rest of the family is gong to be back in 30 seconds and I haven't tidied up. That would be really helpful.

There's no better example of how to lead a difficult employee than to have a child. You have another kind of knowledge from your children that's actually applicable outside of childbearing.

I'm the first person in my family to go to college, and I'm an immigrant. My aspirations coming out of college weren't particularly lofty. I wanted a good job with a good company.

I have very vivid memories of my mother reading to us as kids.