Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it.

I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell - but then I can never bring myself to sell them.

Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever.

We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.

I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.

Ben Askren is a joke. The guy has no skills.

If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well.

It was an honour to be asked to do 'The Gift.' The producers took a risk asking me because, coming from a comedy background, I am not known for this kind of highly-charged, emotional show.