If I'm not interested in a woman, I'm straight-forward. Right after sex, I usually say, 'I can't do this anymore. Thanks for coming over!'

I'm a Cubs fan. As a kid, the Cubs were my team.

I was a bed wetter till very late. My mom used to hang my sheets out the window to dry, and I'd have to run home from school in order to beat the other kids to my house so they wouldn't see them.

I enjoy going out by myself... always have, always will. I don't have security guards, and, for the most part, I enjoy meeting new people. I see myself as a regular guy who likes playing video games with his nieces and nephews and poker with his family. I don't have an art collection or take exotic vacations. I enjoy being at home.

I never sort of thought of myself as a comedy writer, by nature.

I was doing a lot of drama until I took the comedy role in the series 'Car 54, Where Are You?,' and I've been tagged as a comedian ever since.

The polls indicated that I was feisty, that I was tough, that I had a sense of humor, but they weren't quite sure if they liked me and they didn't know whether or not that I was sensitive.

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.