I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.

Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

Everything in my life I owe to God, my family, the Naval Academy, and the Marine Corps.

If you give me carte blanche for any destruction and any revolutionary transformations, if that is what you want, then for God's sake, we will do it. The issue is not me: the issue is society.

I call upon my God to judge me, he knows that I love my friends and above all others my wife and children, the, oppinion of the world to contrary notwithstanding.

All of my children are ideologically and politically in sync with me, they all have authentic Christian faith. It's something I'm very grateful for.