Kai was always dead and gone. That was always the plan. That was the plan when I signed on for the role. That was the plan once I was talking to Julie when the role was coming to a close. It was always, 'He dies and is actually gone.'

I did a lot of musicals growing up.

Any other illness, any other disease that we're faced with, there's sympathy and understanding. We get help for those. With mental illness, our go-to is to categorize them as, 'Oh, they're crazy,' to belittle the problem.

If I wasn't making a movie, I was trying to master a new musical instrument or trying to teach myself how to shave with a straight razor. I had to find the weirdest things just to increase my understanding of other cultures or other arts or intellectual pursuits.

The piano has disappeared from working-class family life, which is a shame. It's associated with the middle classes now. Everyone in my family sang and played piano, but my parents were delighted and amazed when I became the first professional performer in the family - apart from a clog-dancer way back.

And, quite frankly, I fully expected to be charged with murder, because they weren't charging anybody. I did it in terms of, I felt like I was throwing down the gauntlet saying look, this is what happened. There's a family out there that needed to know what happened.

Having a family, taking care of your kids and people outside yourself, maybe it's motivated me more to give that extra something.

Always think twice before you decide to do anything for a film. It may seem like a career-changing idea, but think of your family and your future before doing anything risky. Train properly, because looking strong and being strong are two different things.