Women should be obscene and not heard.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

It's not easy to direct in another language, especially comedy.

It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared.

I do miss the rhythms of comedy. And I've never been able to perform very well without an audience. The sitcoms I've done had them. It was like doing a little play.