You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If the media isn't slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

There's this misconception that comedy and music go together. They don't. Comedians can't compete with rock stars; they're just not on the same level. Rock stars will always be cooler. They will always get more girls.

I love 'Another Round.' It's Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton's podcast that's through BuzzFeed, and they're real funny and really themselves. And I like it because it's very funny, but it's outside the realm of comedians talking about comedy.

I wanted to write a book about two women falling in love that wasn't hinged on tragedy or that involved some horrible identity-based misfortune. I wanted to write a pretty standard romantic comedy where nobody dies, nobody gets hurt, nobody gets sick.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.